“To my dear friend Mrs. George Hale, I give and bequeath the satisfaction of being remembered in my Will; and I leave my lawyer, Huber Lewis, the task of explaining to my relatives why they didn’t get a million dollars apiece.”
from the Will of Edwin O. Swain, who died penniless
“The key here, I think, is not to think of death as an end, but to think of it as a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.”
“I want it that mine brother Adolph be my executor and I want it that the judge should please make Adolph put up plenty bond and watch him like hell. Adolph is a good business man but only a dumpkoff would trust him with a busted pfennig.”
from the Will of Herman Oberweiss
“To my son I leave the pleasure of earning a living. For twenty years he thought the pleasure was mine.”
from the Will of the Marquis d’Aligre
A millionaire informs his attorney, “I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death.” “Why such an odd stipulation?” asks the attorney. “Because I want someone to be sorry I died!” came the reply.
A minister settled into a chair in a lawyer’s office. “Is it true,” said the minister, “that your firm does not charge members of the clergy?” “I’m afraid you’re misinformed,” stated the lawyer. “People in your profession look forward to a reward in the next world, but we lawyers have to take ours in this one.